Urban Outfitters

Hello Urban Outfitters,

While being an "Indie Hipster" is not as cool as it used to be your store is still cute. However, y'all need a more vast book selection. Yes, I am well aware that you are not "Barnes & Noble" but still. Urban Outfitters is very convenient for me to visit on my various breaks from work.

Also i think you should stop selling "What Music Means to Girls" it was absolute dribble. I have never read such a pretentious yet poorly written book in all my years. If i could get a refund of some sort that would be delightful.

Thank you and have a wonderful day

Jimmy Dean

Hello Friends at Jimmy Dean,

Heavens to betsy I love bacon. I also love being thin. Lets be honest nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. My obsession with bacon not helping this matter. Its horrifing. Nonetheless, I will not stop consuming bacon. I am sure you would like to know that it is extra delicious with a cold Coors Light. I really do not understand why bacon is wavy but perhaps I dont need to know.

Have the most pleasant of days

Kids Cuisine

Kids Cuisine,

As I was preparing my Kids Cuisine Pop Star meal the other evening while I was at my place of employment I was examining the box. Why does it say "Real Meal" on it? what the hell else would it be? The fact that you must insist that it is in fact a "real meal" forces me to question the integrity of said product. After becoming upset and bewildered I ate my kids Cuisine anyways pretty much because well it was there and i was hungry. Dont try to pull the wool over my eyes it hardly ever works.

On a lighter note, it took me days to figure out that the penguins name was KC because it stands for "kids Cuisine" and not for "...and the sunshine band". You do know that penguins are public enemy #1 right? I personally do not care if godless creatures decorate my dinner but the children may.

I will be 23 next month, I still eat Kids Cuisines, I think people secretly judge me.

90210

Dear Cw tv,

I was watching 90210 last week like i do every week. How dare you end an episode in that manner. I have been antsy in anticipation for next weeks episode. This happens every week and I just dont care for it.

However, I must note that you're storyline about Dixon becoming addicted to gambling had already been done on Beverly Hills 90210. It happened to Brandon Walsh. Yes, I am aware that Dixon is the "black Brandon Walsh" but come on now.

Also, the season 2 theme song is lame. Go back to the original one.

Will you please tell me what is going to happen to Naomi in the finale???? I hear its devastating. I am so worked up over it. Why must you do this to me!!!!!!!

Fruity Pebbles

Hello Friends at Fruity Pebbles,

I have been a fan for many decades. well, not many per say, more like 2 decades. I noticed when i was reading Ladies Home Journal that pebbles now has a "Cupcake" flavor. Really?? thats odd. Whose idea was this?? I know it was Dino wasnt it? I find it truly amazing that your product had been around since the stone age. Will you let Mr. Flintstone know that if he would just let his neighbor Barney Rubble have some cereal his life would have less chaos.

I almost forgot to mention the other day i got in quite a heated debate about with pebbles flavor was better. Um, Fruity pebbles, Duh. But, my associates disagreed. Obviously these are people with low standards in life.

Little Caesars

Good Day Little Caesars,

Almost everyday I have your pizza for lunch or dinner or both. I am a lady who is quite indecisive. Actually thats a lie I usually go to little caesars because the line at mcdonalds is too long & the idiots at quiznos ruined my life. honestly can you explain to me why those bozos at quiznos always forget to put bacon on my classic club? This is a sandwich with like 3 ingredients, a squirrel could make a better sandwich. I suppose you should not be concerned due to the fact that my rage against that asinine place has caused me to spend more money at your pizza palace. your employees kind of annoy me but its not enough for me to yell obscenities about.

Peter Piper Pizza

Aloha Peter Piper Pizza,

Through the years I have heard many whispers of Peter Piper Pizza being the poor mans Chuck E Cheese. But that does not stop me from loving your exquisite dining establishment. Often there are more children at your restaurant then prefer but hey you win some you lose some.

I was wondering if that Purple Dinosaur still makes appearances?? When I was a youngin I won many many Mighty Morphin Power Ranger temporary tattoos from your Pizza joint. I suggest you bring them back, because my life parter will not allow me to get a real tattoo of the pink ranger.

I think you should open a location right next to a Chuck E Cheese and show them whats up. At least, have to dinosaur and the mouse duke it out at a celebrity boxing tournament of champions.